Some kid asked me for MLTR advice the other day, despite being a 19 year old with no experience in regular LTRs and a one woman sexual history. Probably better to start from square one with this guy:
First of all, I’ve always said “Nothing is easier than getting a second girlfriend, but nothing is harder than getting a first.” I don’t tell anyone what to believe about stuff like this, but many men say polygamy is natural because men are naturally promiscuous and women are so completely and incontrovertibly wired to seek out men who have been pre-selected. I’ll explain this a little further.
People are subconsciously status conscious. When I walk into a room or group of people, I always know who the hottest girl is – I have a feeling you do too. On top of that, you have a subconscious awareness of who ‘s who in the group. When you go into any interaction with someone, your brain assesses their status. If a girl is too cute for you, not cute enough, if a man is cooler than you, or not. Different people have different responses to these situations (a Christian might encounter someone less cool than them and treat them kindly, an asshole might ignore them until they could raise their own status by shitting on them somehow) but everyone has the same hardwired ability to assess status. Usually, the coolest guy is with the hottest girl.
In most cases, status is a function of reproductive viability. In women, this is purely a product of physical attractiveness. Does her skin tone suggest the healthiness necessary to carry a baby? Are her tits big enough to feed one? Is her waist to hip ratio perfect for childbirth? This is all programmed into your brain, making you attracted to certain women whether you like it or not. And the fact that everyone is attracted to them makes them intrinsically high status.
The difference is with men. Male status is a lot more elusive and amorphous. And the things that we traditionally see as “status” symbols aren’t necessarily biological status symbols. Many times, status in society will subconsciously grant you biological status. Being politically powerful naturally makes you act biologically attractive. Being rich makes you behave in a biologically attractive way. But there is no shortage of rich, powerful losers, and definitely no shortage of broke, powerless players.
This is because male status is signaled not visually, but behaviorally. Women are far, far more sophisticated in the social part of their brain that deduces things about people based on how they interact and how they carry themselves in social situations. My knowledge is fairly pedestrian, but I believe it is the excess of white matter which connects their neurological faculties for social information with their faculties for abstract thinking. We have much greater abilities of abstract thinking, but much less ability to apply it to the real world that exists around us. Women never would have invented the “Mind vs. Matter” divide. There is no divide to them.
The significance of this is that it is not visual signals which trigger attraction in women, but social signals. Behavioral signals. Behavior which communicates that you are an attractive person. To sum it up, men are interested in someone who occupies the most attractive body. Women are interested in someone who occupies the most attractive role.
This is complicated, because men believe, by neurological nature, that there is an “objective” self. That if you are attractive now, you will be attractive tomorrow. Women see things very differently. To them, in many ways, there is only the world of appearance. Only the world that is happening right now, and no abstract “idea” of how attractive someone is. It doesn’t matter who you “really” are – if you are sitting alone looking depressed, you’re unattractive. The same guy, however, could put on a smile and start talking to a hot girl, and suddenly he’s attractive, at the drop of a hat. Because the only thing that matters is what’s happening in the real world. Being from Texas, you probably understand this more than most people. So you’re in luck.
My whole reason for explaining this is that women are attracted to social status. More specifically, they want to be with someone of higher social status than themselves, that they don’t deserve, the same way men want to be with a physically hotter girl, hotter than any girl they’ve been with in the past, that they don’t deserve. So your entire goal in fucking life, as long as you are out trying to score a girl, is to appear (and ultimately, actually be) higher status than she is.
The reason this relates is because the very act of being with a girl puts you on the same level as her. If girl’s status is judged by how hot they are, the biggest part of a man’s status is judged on how hot the girls he is with are. “There is nothing easier than getting a second girlfriend, and nothing harder than getting a first.” If you start chilling with a girl who is a solid 6, that means any girl who is a 6 automatically assumes, “Well, he’s dating her – he must be good enough to date a 6. That girl is on my level, so he is acceptable to me.” Any girl who is a 5 or below will think you are a real catch, because you’re a step up for her!
The flipside is, if you’re not chilling with anyone, how do they know what your status is? Well, you portray it every time you do anything in public. Men of higher status speak more slowly, and in a deeper voice. They occupy more space. They lean back instead of forward. They tilt their head up instead of down, et cetera. But with all that said, nothing is an easier and more immediate statement of status than preselection by other women. This is what I can tell you as an intro to MLTRs.
So I do not know your situation, but I can give you this advice, based on 100%, undeniable experience. Social circle is, in my opinion, the most important single prerequisite of game. You need to have a solid place in a group of people, with girls as platonic friends. There’s a lot of really stupid paranoia about “being an orbiter” in the community, which I’ve always thought was retarded. I have many female friends who I don’t sleep with – interacting with them gets my brain in the mood for female interaction, which is different from male interaction. Also, it automatically shows girls that you are qualified to be with girls of their caliber.
MLTRs don’t grow from getting a girlfriend, then getting another one down the road. They grow from having a lifestyle where there are many girls moving in and out of your life, and you spend time with them, not platonically, as a means of getting to know them and having fun. This leads to sex. But you’ve got to crawl before you can walk. It’s better to have five girls you’re making out with than one girl you’re sleeping with. Because you can turn five into something – only thing you can turn one into is an exclusive girlfriend, which means less sex over time, and a potential breakup, which leaves you alone with no prospects. So my advice: As a baby step, start chilling with multiple girls just to be chilling with them, and move forward from there.