The Manosphere is great because it’s bigger than “The Community”, which is what we used to call the world of pickup artists. That’s what we used to call men in their 20’s who “took the blue pill,” which is what we used to call painting your fingernails black to “peacock” and score “single night lays.” Those were the days.
The Manosphere is better because it transcends that world just as a lot of guys are realizing that it’s not making them happy anymore. The Community had very rigid standards of behavior, very rigid personal goals, and a very rigid lifestyle. The whole thing was mired in an attitude of nihilism and self-indulgence, preached by 50 year old divorcees and 22 year old Quagmires who lacked the life experience to understand that fucking new girls ceases to be fulfilling on its own past a certain age.
The older I get, the more I understand that men are biologically supposed to do that to a point, then grow past it. It’s not bad, it’s not wrong — short-term mating strategies are what you are meant to do around 18-25, and maybe on the side thereafter. But past that point, it feels like a formula. You fuck the same girl over and over, and she has a different face each time. You write all your lays down on the internet, then go back and say, “I did fuck all those girls, but it sounds a lot cooler than it actually was.” You fail to get it up for the first time and say, “She’s sexy, I’m healthy, why did that happen?” Because fucking bitches isn’t your mission anymore, and you can’t keep chasing the things you found thrilling at 21. That’s when you start having nervous breakdowns in the backseat of Neil Strauss’s Saturn and smearing eyeshadow all over your favorite boa.
I made a blog to write about civilizations collapsing when they shift to a short-term mating strategy. I’ve written about that and I’ve examined some of the male personality traits associated with short-term mating success. What I didn’t expect was to start wondering why nobody questions the assumption that long-term mating strategies are obsolete. Why the word “provider” is more offensive than “cunt” in these circles, and why so many men keep running into a wall trying to keep up the pump and dump lifestyle of their college years. There are lovers and providers; boys and men. Who’s really getting fucked over? In twenty years, one will still be running game. The other will be running a family and grooming his descendents for power and success.
I’m starting to experiment with long-term strategy, specifically with being a long-term alpha the way I’ve already been a short-term one. This is taking two forms.
1. Pursuing genuine knowledge about women like I touched on here. The whole game world revolves around manipulating a woman’s id. Call a spade a spade; you are tapping into her primal desires to get her to fuck you. Everyone writes as though the id is the deepest part of the human mind, when it’s actually by far the most superficial. You can fuck a girl’s id but you can’t do much else, and id relationships just don’t last more than 2-3 months. These are the girls who are the absolute most likely to cheat on you, as well. An id bond is no bond at all. Figure out the deepest part of who a woman is and manipulate that, and she’ll never leave, because you’ll be doing something nobody else does.
And this is by definition a higher-investment strategy. It takes more effort and it takes more time. But you can’t keep fucking girls and hoping that one of them will be different. That one of them will magically “move” you. You have to see them through different eyes, or they will all be the same, because every id is the same. Learn to do this with all the dominance you bring to game now and you’ll be unstoppable.
2. Presenting yourself as a long-term mate. For years, I would flirt and get drunk and ignore calls and marvel that girls would sleep with me, without resistance, without asking to use a condom, without asking for commitment, nothing. Then it got to the point where I wasn’t sure they’d want those things if I asked for them. There’s no shame in being a male slut, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Girls will still love you, but they’ll know you’re not in it for the long run. If you dress like a player, act like a player, smell like a player, that’s the world you’ll live in. There’s nothing wrong with it, but that world has ceased to make me happy.
The substance of this is the same as part 1 — showing actual interest in knowing other people identifies you as a man right off the bat, and not a juvenile horndog. But there’s also a superficial side of this. I’ve been fucking around with more traditional clothes — dressing more like my dad, or more importantly, like these girls’ dads. The Southern bros have had this down from day one. If you’re from the South, you never don’t dress like a lawyer. From 16 on, the boys start wearing sperrys and collared shirts, and the girls dress like wives. But you’d better believe they go apeshit for the men in a way that you don’t see in the rest of America, because they’re trying to get married just like their mom did, and you’re looking a lot like the man that raised her. These are the good girls, and these are the ones you could actually be happy with. Keep that in mind, and ask yourself how happy any of these hos ever really made you since you joined up with this pickup shit. Even at my peak, I was never as happy with a girl as I was with myself. The girls weren’t the point. Knowing I could get the girls was, and sooner or later that thrill wears off.
That’s what I’m experimenting with now. The only rule in life is that you can’t stand still. Time goes on and you’ve got to evolve. Can’t keep chasing the same shit forever. Nothing wrong with taking a short-term approach with a short-term girl — I’m going to keep doing just that. But I’m going to start keeping an eye out for the long-termers, and working on throwing all the effort at mastering long-term strategy that I have with the short.
I will continue posting information and advice about both, though.