Ecto

I’ve been meaning to write up a corollary to Roissy’s constitutional psychology post.  As an extreme ecto who’s found a game of his own and learned to be a different kind of person over the years, I can probably offer some insight.  The series was great, but he seemed to go into less detail on the ecto post than the others.  Here are two major points in addition:

1.  Scientifically, we can’t say that personality is genetically conditioned, as Roissy claims.  We can, however, say that the psychological mechanisms we employ to engage our environment, which ultimately determine our personality, ARE genetically conditioned.  This may not seem like much of a difference, but it is scientifically significant.
2.  It is difficult to make the point that certain personalities proceed directly from certain body types.  It is easy, however, to bridge the gap by saying that personality is HEAVILY Influenced by how we are treated by others, and that this treatment will inevitably be a function of how others perceive us, physically and mentally.  Left to your own devices, you will fill the role that people cast you in, and humans will have a default impression of skinny guys, fat guys, and musclemen.

With that said, ectos are the smallest of the physical body types.  I’m about 6′ tall and came out of high school weighing 120.  I’ve put on about 45 pounds since then, but all experiences in youth are foundational to a certain point.  Being smaller than the men around you means that others will feel more comfortable imposing on you and dismiss you as non-threatening more immediately.  You will probably be subject to status challenges more often.  People will hide hostility less than they would around more imposing figures.  It is my theory that ectos are frequently more cerebral, brainy people because they retreat to the mind, away from the more hostile social climate around them.  Much like the autistic.

Well, you can lift weights, get big, become an asshole, pick up some basic mammalian political awareness, and work up a good defense.  But this actually only creates another problem.  Because of their reference experience, skinny or jacked, former ectos are generally more aware of threats — more likely to see the world in terms of status challenges and hostility in the first place.  They are less likely to view the world as a friendly place, where they can approach anyone and make a human bond. They will always have a comeback ready, always be expecting shittests. Regardless of their current size, most ectos have had the concept of a hostile outside world impressed upon them, and the only thing that’s changed is now they can fight back.  But this outlook will not get you laid.  In fact, it’s like anti-game.  It’s like pouring a silica packet from a new pair of shoes in a girl’s vagina.  Take a second to think about that.

One of the traits I have seen in every natural I’ve ever known is ease of interaction, or fluidity in their daily lives.  Not only is their body language open and vulnerable because they’re not afraid of anything, their social behavior reflects the same ethos.  “Why wouldn’t I hit on the cashier?  People love me.  Nobody’s going to blow me out.  The world is fundamentally friendly.”  This is the attitude of alphas, and the attitude that is hardest for ectos to assume.  Sure, raising testosterone is good for you.  But it also makes you a more aggressive person, which definitely doesn’t help in the girl game department.

So my advice?  Get big, get fit, lift heavy weights, raise T-levels, whatever.  But more importantly, warm up to the world.  Learn how to smoke weed (Most ectos don’t know how — they are forced to confront their anxieties when they do it, and can’t handle that.)  Spend some time in the South.  Make platonic girlfriends to platonically flirt with. Hang out with black people.  It works, and this is the kind of game that doesn’t just get you laid — it makes life easy.  What else is there?

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9 comments on “Ecto

  1. NoveltyVotary says:

    I agree a lot about ectos needing to consider smoking some weed. As counter-intuitive and anxiety inducing as it sounds, here is my take…

    The ectomorph description fits me very well and I’ve run into all the challenges listed above because of it. I’m in my head to a fault and I know this but it takes conscious effort to get me out. So why would pot help?? At first it seems like pot makes a person “headier”, which is true, but in a different way than the classic turtle shell introversion. Take some common effects of smoking and combine them with existing ecto tendencies:

    – Happiness
    – Short attention span
    – Relaxation

    For an ecto, this leads to a couple things.

    1) You can no longer trust your brain to keep track of all the stuff that is racing through it at any moment— your main survival crutch has just been compromised.

    2) You’re outwardly happy and relaxed which gives you an advantage over a normal state of uncertain, highly self-controlled. This makes everything you say more relatable because there is added emotional content as opposed to a tendency towards dry intellectualism.

    Now this can also turn you into a babbling idiot, and anxiety is another common symptom of smoking. I’m not claiming that you should hit the bong and you’ll be bedding 9’s, you still need to understand game and overcome any anxiety. However if you’re an ecto, and you’re high, a lot of the work is done for you. If you *do* understand game, which most ectos are very good at, you’re now in a state of mind that allows you to apply it instead of analyze what you might be doing wrong.

    Keep this in mind: Simply practice the pregnant pause and slow the fuck down.

    If you can do that much, you’re ready to let your happy and relaxed mind find the right tactics to conversational challenges. If you try and take the time to overthink, you’ll soon realize you’ve got a bored chick in front of you waiting for an answer and now you’ve just lost your train of thought. Your pregnant pause just gave birth and soon enough you are forced to be reactive.

    Pot affects people differently, maybe this won’t work for you, and I know it doesn’t work for some. I know it’s generally accepted that you don’t want to be messed up on drugs while you’re trying to game— you want all your faculties. This post made me think ectos might be the exception when it comes to weed. Similar experiences anyone?

    • Ha! Marijuana is the anti-ecto, I like that.

      Truth be told, I don’t believe it affects people differently. I think it does the same thing to everyone — exaggerates what they’re feeling. The people who don’t like it just don’t know how to turn off their social anxiety and let go, to experience better emotions more fully.

    • rott-v-ler says:

      I’m an socially retarded ecto but don’t smoke weed. When some of my friends did so around me, where I inhaled the smoke, it seemed to make me laugh more at silly little things.

      • Yep, ain’t nothing wrong with laughing and feeling good.

      • NoveltyVotary says:

        Expect to be an all around retard the first few (several?) times you get high, especially if you’re up in your head more than the average person. You’ll be too busy trying to figure out all the ways your world is different to do anything but laugh about it. But yea, there are worse things.

        • DON’T Forget, you will also be totally silent, but think everyone is talking about you and wondering what’s wrong with you, or if you are uncool. Then your heart will start to beat extremely fast, and you’ll think you’re overdosing. Nobody has ever overdosed from weed, but you’re about to be the FIRST ONE. YOU’RE GONNA BE ON THE NEWS AND YOUR PARENTS WILL BE HEARTBROKEN. YOU NEVER SHOULD HAVE SMOKED WEED!

  2. Badger says:

    Late to the party but this was a great post – tying together a few factors that people don’t always see going together. The treatment we receive as youth sticks with us for a long, long time. So sad to see parents and teachers still telling kids to accept being bullied and “be the bigger man” figuratively, instead of telling them to get bigger and badder if they don’t want people to fuck with them. I went through all that shit – they sold me on the idea that if I played by the rules they’d protect me, then when it was time for them to be accountable they were nowhere to be found, sweettalked by bullies a third their age.

  3. white123 says:

    I just love this article – so true!

    what is working for me:

    1. low voice – ultimately important!
    2. to feel more manly – don’t answer at the moment, just take your time (GREAT advice on this blog – just repeat her few last word – you take some time before answer)
    3. don’t jerk off – I cannot explain it (maybe some energy and shit) but this is working too! (yes, 2nd week of no fapping is very strange – dick is very very small and weak but 3rd week will get everything in order.
    4. when sms/facebook/chat – don’t use many emoticons
    5. NEVER DRESS BAD
    6. NEVER SMELL
    7. do heavy lifting but just 2 minutes x2 a day.. not 1 – 2 hours in gym – it is not for us. I’m was going to the gym many times but no big gain. Then I feel like I should exercise only a few but with heavy weights – it is working 🙂
    8. learn some body language and psychology
    9. using sexhypnotizer on iphone to have better confidence
    10. do more listening instead of talking
    11. don’t write sms after date, wait for it from her or delay it for 1 or 2 days
    12. remember to touch her
    13. on 99% you should kiss her on the lips after the first date or there will be on 99% no more date
    14. read my list again and
    15. good luck boys! 🙂

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