Trust

I’ve been hitting on the same basic point for a while now, that the peak of alphaness — the pinnacle of masculine aspiration — is not the bullying jock nor the belicose warrior drawn up by most of the people writing on the subject.  It is the human father, who elicits total control over his subjects by taking their well-being completely into account and leading them virtuously.  I believe there is hostile strength and friendly strength, and the former always creates lesser alphas; the latter may create greater alphas.  This is a character we have very little model for in our society.  Political power is removed from daily life past the point of abstraction and the overwhelming majority of white American fathers simply do not lead powerfully within their families. But in the old days at the high point of agrarian patriarchy, this was the personality type of powerful men.

Trust is different between men and women.  Women can be trusted, but the stakes are not as high as they are with men.  Women are trusted, but it is only to men that people entrust themselves.  For whom they suspend self-direction and critical thought.  Women don’t want that kind of trust.  That type of trust requires vulnerability, and women don’t want vulnerability.  Women do not want you to entrust them with your well-being, your sense of self.  Nearly every woman, at some point, will have biological dependents, and their mission in life is to maximize the resources these dependents receive.  These dependents are entrusted to them — they do not want competition for their dependents.  They want somebody they can trust themselves, someone they can entrust themselves AND their dependents with.  This is the type of trust that only men can command and only men desire.

Men do not have biological dependents, so the web of trust is limitless.  A woman’s family will only be as big as her biological offspring.  The size of a man’s family has no limit whatsoever.  So many people type on the internet with no life experience in this subject.  You CANNOT increase your social status without also accruing some degree of leadership over people.  99.9% of the people typing about this subject do not understand this.  This is the next step.  This is the plateau you can break through.  This is how our world began.  Civilization started because individual men became responsible for larger and larger groups of people.  We live in a society with a historically unusual level of individualism, so there are cultural barriers on how much people will trust an individual man.  Everyone is expected to be in control of their own life.  Who would move, who would quit their job, who would defy convention, who would kill or die for an individual man?  Who would entrust themselves so greatly to a man they trusted?  Things are changing and these rules will change too.  As things continue to break down, the society of 300 million will disappear — but the society of 50, 100, 500, will come back.  What can you do to prepare?  Learn to earn trust, because only trust will generate power in the future.

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