Finally got around to reading 50 Shades of Gray. It’s extremely poor execution is pretty well-worn territory in the blogosphere, but I never really prided myself on keeping current up here. I will say it’s an astonishingly honest account of a female’s inner monologue, and this probably makes it more beneficial a read for men than women. By far the most interesting part of the book was the incessant reference to her “subconscious” (her conscience and sense of right and wrong), particularly as it stands in the way of her “inner goddess” (her sense of entitlement and arousal). This total inversion of the Id/Superego relationship — the latter probably gleaned from an audited community college course in England — is likely more a product of blind ignorance than deliberate appropriation. Either way, it speaks volumes. Whether these volumes depict the female psyche at large or just the author’s…I’m inclined towards the former but open to debate.
Still in Hawaii, meeting up with Hawaiian girl tonight. Been flaked on a few times, could go either way. What the hell else am I doing out here.
Quit masturbating and haven’t orgasmed in 15 days. Had sex with both Nicole and Allissa without coming — feels great.
I’m getting real aware of how much male attention and effort is driven by sexual motivators (no shit), but more importantly how much this attention and effort is highjacked by the total availability of girls on the internet. Your brain doesn’t know they’re not real. When I feel a stir and want to do something about it, I’ve been thinking about the girls I’ve seen recently and thought,”I’ve got to meet up with her so I can orgasm.” Until very recently, that stir would have led me to press CTRL-T and checked out some naked chick online. I get laid way more than 90% of men in America, and I’m still conditioned to associate computers with sex more than actual women. Most of the grievances guys post on the internet are pretty transparent — at heart, most of them are just pissed over a vague sense that the cards are stacked against them and it shouldn’t be so hard to get laid. They might be right, but I’m starting to wonder if they’re not just pissed that it’s harder to get a girl naked in real life than online. Frankly, it’s never been easier to get laid. It’s never gonna be as easy as a couple clicks on a mouse, though, and that’s what I’ve been programmed to expect.