Based on recent experience. Any feedback from actual women would be appreciated — I haven’t told anyone about this blog. If the post sounds weird, it’s because I am trying to write a description of humans in terms an aspergoid could understand.
The female mind is wired to crave social interaction, emotional experience, and the all-at-once information gathering of the holistic right brain (as opposed to the logical, procedural workings of the male mind.) It is hard to describe this need to a man, but if the male experience of deprivation manifests as sexual frustration or anger, the female equivalent is loneliness or listless ennui. If she is unattractive, she will be depressed about it. If she is attractive, she will say, “I am attractive but what is the point? All I want is someone to appreciate it. How can that be so much to ask for?” It is easy to see how this craving will ultimately lead many to seek out the constant comfort and engagement of family life down the road. Men need sex, but they are generally content, if somewhat bored, living alone. For most women, interacting with others is the difference between her brain being turned on or being turned off.
I have long believed that females desire attention with the same gnawing motivation that men desire sex, but now I believe it is a specific type of social engagement that they are after, rather than the validation of someone paying attention to them. The same way a boy will be glued to a logic-based videogame like pacman, women are glued to other people when presented with their particular brand of information. I used to ask a girl, “Do anything last night?” and react to her indifference with confusion. What the hell is wrong! You want to talk, don’t you? Now, I ask something like, “What was the coolest thing that happened to you over the weekend?” or “I bet you got some comments on that scarf today.” Every piece of information is a symbol for 10 more, and a paragraph is implicit in every sentence. This is how the right brain works.
I believe speaking this language is 70% of game, because so few men know how to do it. Men have a built in respect for each other’s boundaries and keep a greater level of social distance between one another. Their interactions are generally purpose driven, and they take a “get in, get out” approach to interacting with others. This is toxic when interacting with women. Women immediately know when you’re talking to them for a reason, and when you’re talking to them because you enjoy the engagement. Fortunately, there are relatively few men who do this, so women will notice when there is a man in their social circle who speaks their language. Hopefully I will be able to post more about how to get into this mindset. I’ve had good luck with smoking weed and looking at pictures instead of words for a while. Texting 4 or 5 girls simultaneously is helpful. Frankly, a general increase in the number of people you keep in regular contact with will get you in this way of thinking. I’ll keep an eye out for more tips.