Congruence is everything. Congruence is the master key, the only mantra worth remembering. You can be a miserable wreck, but if you are outwardly congruent with your internal emotions, everything will work. There is no alpha or beta, there is only congruent or not congruent. Nothing you could say is inherently unattractive. Game is not something you do, but something you feel and something you are, because what you seek is status, and status is a measure of how much you are allowed to be yourself.
Men value absolute clarity in language and women do not care. Men value logical consistency and women do not care. What do they care about? They care about a more accurate gauge of personality than anything logic or reason could provide. Women crave emotional communication because their brains read emotions in a way that male brains don’t. A man can say anything about himself. A man can tell you that he is the most alpha man who ever lived. About how many women he lays, how much money he makes, how terrific his life is. But none of this matters without congruence because words mean literally nothing to a woman. They aren’t interested in his life story, they are interested in who he is, and emotions will give her a better gauge than words ever could.
Men do not understand this because few of them can read emotions in others. I know I never had much interest. But emotions betray deeper secrets than anyone would ever reveal about themselves, if you are just patient enough to listen. All of life is psychologically significant, and events of particular personal significance remain etched in your mannerisms, habits, beliefs, and behavior. You can tell from listening to someone if they have experienced loss or trauma; you can tell who is afraid of others and who is not, who has high self-esteem and who does not, who is successful in love and who is not. Humans wear their lives and expectations on their sleeves, and women interpret this immediately. It is not what you communicate rationally but what you communicate emotionally that matters to them.
So what is the difference between alpha and beta? The Mystery Method used to emphasize willingness to emote as one of the 5 fundamentally attractive traits in men. If women read emotions and not words, how should you emote? The beta hides his feelings, the alpha expresses his without fear. The beta is terrified to show himself, because betas have to fear derision or rejection. An alpha — someone whose recent experiences have confirmed that others like and respect him — hides nothing, because he expects to be accepted. More important than whatever emotions you could be conveying is the level of comfort you have with them and the level of comfort you have with yourself. Gauging self-acceptance is the fastest way to assess whether someone is a loser or a winner.
I don’t believe you can think your way to freedom; it occurs as a quantum leap and only new emotions and new experiences can push you over the edge. You can think about reality, but the act of thought itself separates you from reality. You cannot reflect on reality as it happens, and what you can reflect on is only an image, a record. You can make decisions in your head based on your analysis of these images, but you have two selves — one that thinks and one that acts. Thought is a defense mechanism that divorces you from reality by analyzing it at arm’s length. Only an honest engagement with reality can move you forward. If this does not resonate with your experience, you cannot understand it even if you think you do.